A Moment in our History: Family Matters

A few years ago, a staff member ran into my office around noon, telling me an angry man was yelling at a woman in the lobby and the woman was crying. When I rushed to the lobby, I saw a woman sitting on a chair by our member service desk with her back turned away from a man shouting at her.

Tears ran down her cheeks. Several staff members surrounded her, shielding her from the man.

She looked like a professional woman, with beautifully styled long hair, make-up that was done nicely but not overly so, and an office-appropriate half-sleeve dress. When I asked her what happened, she said her boyfriend became upset when she told him she wanted to become a YWCA member.

“He thinks it is a stupid idea. He always puts me down like that.”

The man kept yelling at her to leave the building with him. The woman refused. Our staff took her to the back office to protect her as the man’s abusive voice grew louder—leading people to rush out of the lobby or sit frozen with uncertainty.

“Sir, if you don’t leave our building now, we will have to call the police,” we told him.

The man refused to leave. He said his girlfriend had a stupid idea and she was to leave with him. While we kept the man’s attention, our staff got in touch with a domestic violence/sexual assault hotline so that she could seek help if she chose to.

“We are calling the police now.” Upon hearing that, the man turned his back and walked towards the courtyard. We followed him to make sure he left our premises through the side gate.

Our staff told the woman she did not have to be with him and she could seek support now. The woman said she understood but would not take any action now. We provided her information in case she needed to call for help when she was alone.

When I asked her if she worked in the neighborhood, she told me where she worked, a well-known local company with a long history in Hawai'i.

“Well, you are our neighbor and you know where we are. We respect your decision but please know you have a choice.”

As she regained her composure and poise, she left the building to go back to work. She returned by herself at a later date and signed up for membership.

Part of our history includes echoes of this very contemporary event—such as an incident described in a local newspaper nearly a century ago.

Honolulu Star-Bulletin: September 15, 1924

The safety of women and girls has been a priority for YWCA O'ahu for more than a century. Offers of education, skill-building and even physical exercise have all been part of self-care -- helping women and girls become self-reliant. YWCA O'ahu has been a safe and secure place for them to learn and grow.

Subjects from our past classes include “Emotional Relationships between Husband and Wife” and “Parent-Child Relationships.” (Honolulu Star-Bulletin: January 22, 1947)

Our Placement Bureau and Employment Committee urged a safe working environment for women.

Students learning first-aid.

Within our first year of operations, YWCA O'ahu became refuge for women and girls escaping abuse and violence. Our board minutes in 1900 mention that “a Hawaiian-Portuguese girl of 14 had been brought to Mrs. Brown (General Secretary) by the Police, and her sympathy had brought out a shameless abuse by her step-parents.” Mrs. Brown secured a place in the rescue home for this young woman.

Our work must continue until every woman and girl lives a life free from violence, abuse, ridicule and assault.

-Noriko Namiki, YWCA O‘ahu CEO